Is Sameness The Enemy Of Romance?
At Alive Ventures, we are hard at work exploring love, work, vitality and friendship in later life and how these things change as we grow older. Each week we share updates and insights from the Alive studio including unique access to our learnings earned from co-designing products alongside older adults.
Recently, we’ve been coming alive through the exploration of love with our community. In particular, how romance changes in relationships over time. We’ve asked our community to share their unique romantic experiences with us. Hear what they had to say below.
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“Sameness is the enemy of Romance”
Many of our community members have expressed the need for more products and services to help them break out of the doldroms of long-term relationships. That feeling when you’ve been together so long that you’ve tried (what feels like) everything, is something they know well.
Why this is important
According to a Pew Research study published last year, a little more than half of American women over age 65 identified as coupled, another 79% of American men over age 65 identify the same. But in our discussions with this group, neither demographic could identify products or experiences to solve for this — other than therapy. We got to wondering, what products and experiences are there to be created to solve for the changes that come from long term romance in this later part of our lives?
What we’re learning
In later life, we become practical romantics
Many older adults told us that as they get older, romantic love becomes less important as often their emotional needs are met through friends and family. This, coupled with clearer sense of intentions and desires for a partner, makes it less likely older adults will settle for something they don’t want.
As we age, we learn about ourselves through past experiences and relationships, and while the possibility of romance is nice, we no longer let it guide our pathway. Further, our community told us that finding someone who meets them where they are at in life is of utmost importance. They are no longer looking to change a person to fit, they want someone who shares their passions, independence and individuality. As one member eloquently told us, “Finding love in later life is like a dessert. It would be nice after a meal, but it’s not necessary.” More practically, they want a romantic companion who makes sense, or no one at all.
The Opportunity
Help older adults break out of the sameness of relationships
Older adults who have been married or in a relationship for many years can often feel tapped out on new ideas for romantic gestures. In an effort to stave off the enemy of “sameness” there is a great opportunity to inspire and reinvigorate romantic relationships through new creative services. Romance doesn’t have to be about gifts or grand gestures, sometimes it’s about stirring up the memories, breaking out of our routine, and practicing new methods of showing love.
As our population ages and the dissolutions of marriage for those over 50 are on the rise, products and experiences that help older adults in long term relationships re-spark romance would be in high demand. We see opportunities for products that foster deeper connections, and help individuals be better partners.
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